How I recover from "bad body image" days!
These days, I find myself feeling more and more confident in my skills and abilities, and less focused on how I look. BUT that does not mean I do not have rough days.
Learning and talking about body positivity, fat acceptance, and body neutrality has helped me so much. However, knowing about all of these things still does not always help when I start to get down on myself. As individuals, we can all still get caught up in a comparison trap and weighed down by body standards that make us feel "less than".
Recently, I found myself in a negative body image spiral. I felt like nothing I owned was flattering, that my body was just not "good enough", and that my family would surely have something to say about how I look. This isn't the first time this has happened to me, so I reached into my self-care toolkit and clawed my way out (with the help of friends). Below are some tips that help me when I feel overwhelmed
I allowed myself to have a pity party. This one has been hard for me because I am notorious for trying to suppress my emotions. I do not like the idea of crying over anything, but sometimes that is good for you. So I threw a toddler tantrum over allllll the things I felt critical about. And I threw a tantrum that I even still feel this way because I have been flying so high and body politics that do not need to apply to me are still making me bummed out. CRY IT OUT, BABE!
I asked myself a lot of important questions. Where are these feelings coming from? Are these body standards actually my own? Who else is controlling how I feel about my body? Does the way I look impact my value as a person? Do my friends/ family love me less because of how I look? If so, does that reflect on me or them? For me, these questions make me take a step back and examine why the body I have right now is worthy no matter how it looks.
I phoned a friend. Thank goodness I have a great network of friends who know my history and love me for who I am (not what I look like). I texted a few of them asking if they were available to have a conversation about this. Please make sure you do not rant to or burden your friends without checking on them first. You never know what they are dealing with. I usually say something like "do you have the bandwidth to let me talk something out?" that way, they know they can say they are unavailable or busy. Talking about these feelings to someone who is not in the middle of a negative emotional storm can be helpful.
I remembered the facts! The things driving me nuts may feel like absolute fact. And it may be true, my pants no longer fit. However, my pants not fitting does not mean that I am a failure or that I am stupid or any other horrible things that may cross my mind. It just means you need new pants. Solving a wardrobe issue is so much easier than allowing a wardrobe issue to destroy all the amazing things I have accomplished in the last year or even the last week.
I forgave myself for the whole damn thing. There can be a lot of feelings that come up when I have a bad day but I allowed myself to feel them and forgive them. This step is crucial for me. It helps me remove the "poop colored" glasses I was viewing myself through and view myself, my body, and my whole being for who I really am....a badass!
I know that my body is there for me and carries me through all my activities and gets me closer to my goals. I also know there is a lot of pressure out there on social media, billboards, television, and music. Please take care of yourself.
You are totally worth it!
