Permission to Rest: End-of-Year Reflections
The end of the year is such a chaotic, joyful, nostalgic, and stressful time. I have sent out my gifts to family, cleared my calendar, and acquired a weeks worth of clean comfy clothes to go from cute, day pajamas to practical, sleeping pajamas. I am using some time off to lean into a little rest and self care, which is completely a privilege. But even while resting, I keep thinking about the complex feelings I have with the holidays, how we perform end of the year-ness, and how that impacts the way we transition into the new year.
Here are some quick reminders for the end of the year (from Me, a weight neutral trainer and human being)
It is okay if your workout schedule changes and it is also okay to schedule movement
I know you know this, but it is okay if your workout schedule changes a bit when things in your life change. This year, Christmas is on a Monday which means you may not be doing your regular workout. Even if YOU do not celebrate Christmas, inevitably, some of your normal Monday routines may be shifted by the holiday. Your gym may be closed or your favorite class may not be happening.
Having the desire to move or stick to your routine doesn’t necessarily mean you are stuck in a diet culture mentality. If you grew up in a family like mine, working out can be the most relaxing time you get around the holidays. AND it is not required! It is not just okay to rest; rest is necessary and does not need to be earned.
There is space for a holiday workout and there is space for a week of workout-free days.
Boundaries are for everyone and it can be really hard to maintain them 100%
I am a big fan of boundaries. Admittedly, I am someone who tends to have very rigid boundaries and it is something I am working on. My partner, on the other hand, has always had much more porous and flexible boundaries.
If you have been working really hard to set boundaries with your family and friends, I am proud of you. It is not easy and it takes a lot of work. Many times, end of the year gatherings tend to create an environment where those boundaries get tested IRL. And sometimes even when you feel really secure in your own limits, someone else will waffle and push on the boundaries you have set.
Like when your immediate family knows you are not interested in diet talk but some family outside of that circle doesn’t. It can feel overwhelming and exhausting and not worth it to try to explain and establish those boundaries on a holiday. You are allowed to let your eyes gloss over and smile and nod until you can make a clean break. It is okay to protect your energy in a variety of ways.
You can live through a holiday without it having to be merry & bright
Holiday season can be magical and extremely painful. The nostalgia can bring feelings of joy and grief in equal parts. It can stir up feelings you thought you were done with because the feelings may not be done with you.
I think there can be a lot of guilt and even shame around NOT being holly and jolly. But we are all human beings having complex experiences. You can be a little bit jolly and a little bit sad. You can have moments of merry and waves of grief. You can sit around and sulk all day because for once in your life you do not actually have to fake your feelings to please others.
Realistically, I will probably start out sulking, take an edible and a walk, order some food, and end up on the couch watching Gremlins and Gremlins 2.
Just like in my classes, we are all about modifications and variations.
New Year...same you?
I am sure you have already seen the commercials, posts, and ads for the new year. I don’t actually have a problem with resolutions but I do think they can get wrapped up with a lot of toxic diet, fitness, wellness, and hustle culture.
I always try to remember that I am allowed to start fresh and set goals no matter what time of year it is. So if you are not feeling like you want or need to change everything about your current situation, it is okay to sit back and relax. And if somehow you are convinced you need a “total life overhaul”, it makes more sense to tackle one or two things at a time rather than scrapping all of your habits and starting over.
Resolutions do not need to be big and scary and completely transformative to be valid. Being content doesn’t need to be synonymous with being complacent. It is okay to not want to change just because it is a new year!
Final thoughts
I know you know all of this, I just wanted you to hear it from someone else. I hope whatever you end up doing with your last few days of 2023 and your first few days of 2024, there are elements of joy and security. I wish you safety, good food, comfy clothes, and a hug or a phone call with someone who loves you.
Take care. ILYSM.
